After a hiatus…

Hi Im back at blogging after a hiatus..not much has happened and a lot has happened in this time frame. Where the theme of this blog goes  – realisation of a new and fabulous me…Im getting a lot more grounded and have been able to do a couple of things creatively  – I gave my living room a whole new look and am getting a lot more organised in life so thats good.

On the downside Im 183 pounds now when i checked in the morning. But Im not worrying ( Atleast not yet ). There is a feeling that if I work hard I can achieve my goal. Im not hopeless and hapless..

So my dear reader care to join me again on my journey to become fabulous?

Ordinary or not so Ordinary

Ive been thinking, rethinking, restrategising, purging..I thought I’d give up and just stop being obsessed with the ‘gargantuan’ task at hand..hahha. As per the advise of a new friend and dear reader (thank you Jessica). Im thinking I’ll give it another shot this time I’ll take it slow. I was hoping to lose 30 pounds by my 29th birthday in June but think I’ll have to extend this deadline.

Which also brought me to rethink the name of this blog – justanordinary she should the name be changed? am I sending the wrong signals into the universe? the ones that reduce me to mediocrity..on that note dear reader..Good night

Its official

Its official..Im a loser and cannot lose weight. At 175 pounds. I hereby accept Im a nitwit with the self discipline and self esteem of …..God I cant even get an analogy to complete my sentence. Dear Reader..Ive proved myself right once again I am a commitment phobe. I hereby withdraw this blog. Good bye.

Midday updates..

Its 2:00 p.m. MY weight loss journey started at 9:30 today..Ive eaten an apple, a handful of cashews and a slice of bread for lunch.I also had a 30 min walk on the treadmill in the morning..the pace was very slow. My average walking speed was 3.5 mph..Jillian would scream ” Girl you are just phoning it in” I thought to myself Ive just started. Cant wait for the day to end. Need to make my poor husband some dinner though. Didnt cook breakfast or lunch today. Anyways the key is to keep going.

I weighed myself. The scale says 165 pounds.

Im going to keep coming back to you every time Im bored and feeling empty so that I dont stuff myself with food.

So dear reader bye for now.

I am ready..and I need to see this through..

Its a week to Easter. Inspite of all my resolves I have failed in each and every one of them a million times. This weekend we had friends over and I found that they were looking to lose weight too. We’ve decided to go juicing..juice fasting was what I told myself I should do however I had a bite of babys toast this morning..Im just going to let that go.This day on the 25th day of March 2013 I hereby resolve to lose 30 pounds and dear reader Im going to make you my conscience my champion in this cause

So here we go this is my before..starting today I start my weight loss journey.

 

On Emotions and Toothbrushes

God knows Im prone to emotional eating..eating like theres no tomorrow like my tummys an endless pit ..a wide mouthed monster who can never been satiated..whats wrong with me? I wonder..eating when stressed or happy.I have been reading up and watching videos on people who do this and the solution to this problem.

Obviously there is some underlying emotional instability here that you feel the comfort of food can obliterate. Heres my solution to the problem- Try identify and crush those destructive emotional impulses – Easier said than done isnt it? Or why dont I distract it with  some activity like running(ruled out as cant leave baby at home and run and running with stroller is just inviting a visit from some child care association) or why dont I just brush my teeth when I feel those binge frenzies popping up their evil head…

The guilt that follows an hour of glorious non stop eating is not such a nice feeling.Today dear reader my husband reminded me once again that I should realise that I am ‘very fat’ and that I shouldnt have finished off the two packets of toaster pastries ( 6 pastries per box 200 calories each.Total calories consumed 2400!) that he had got just the day before.

God I just hate all those skinny chicks who can eat all the chocolates in the world and thank their ‘genes’ for being able to fit into those skinny jeans….Aargh!!..wheres my toothbrush…

Success begets success

I was just ruminating on the whole concept of success begets success..Ive been a firm beleiver in the Secret ever since I read the book during my Post graduate course as part of our course assignment and I had been consciously practising it though of course not as  a secret but just my personal philosophy to get things done. I have turned the tables on various events merely by focusing my mental vibrations on the event. Human beings are powerful and have within them the element of God. When you read in the Bible that every human being was created in the likeness of God what that means is that we have God in us. God being that immeasurable tremendous power house that we call upon when we want to alter or improve aspects of our life. Which brings me to desire. When a person desires change and focuses her minds energy to visualising and directing the physical body to achieving those actions that will bring about the change, you will be able to achieve it. Whats important is focus, concentration and clarity…people need to focus their energy force. An important aspect of this is sacrifice. If pleasuring your senses is an addiction you lose your ability to hear your inner soul talking..the inner voice is muffed out..fast, give up your addictions, talk to your inner God element and to God.

Success will come in the way of your having achieved your goal and the positive aura of success around you will attract more success toward you. Challenges will crop up and negatives may show their unseemly head but these are just fires that give the metal the strength and sheen.

Dear reader I faltered somewhere along the way and here I am trying to get back…success begets success.

Unfaithful..

I admit Ive cheated…I succumbed to flirtation, made out , cruised through bases. My senses felt ‘elated and ecstatic.’ And now the guilt is gnawing my insides..why oh why cant I be faithful! why oh why can I not commit! The whory sugars gave me the high and now Im crashing.. crashing.. Thud!

Being a size 14 is no fun..I hate the way I look in photos but its my lack of motivation that bugs me even more. I dont want to cheat on my weight loss plan but when the temptation,  –  chocolate, soda, cheese present themselves I find myself ‘melting’.

I lost 6 pounds I was down from 165 to 159 and after this Presidents day long weekend Im back where I started – 165 pounds. The bloody weighing scale is sooo unfair!! Argh! Im depressed.. Dear reader, bye for now..

Here we go!

So heere we go. My first post after a sudden rush of inspiration in the midst of my morning ablutions .. I think I’ve finally decided to come clean and just do it!( No pun intended) Ive decided to  write about – tada –  Myself. ‘ wow! how original!’ you might think dear reader (by the way I will refer to you dear reader once in a while, be prepared).. Or did you think – ‘Is this the genius idea you came up with?’.Well…”yea!”…So, as I was saying, I’m going to just unleash my inner self onto the blogosphere with full consciousness of the consequences.. This is definitely an experiment involving the lab rat that is myself ( and by that I mean no real animals apart from myself a homosapien are involved..I love all animals dear animal lovers organisations around the world!) and yea I am very curious and looking forward to see how this will shape up the commitment phobe that I am.

To start with I shall document the struggle of my life..the pain and the hardships that I endure.The emotional strife, the physical pain..Dear reader Im talking about my struggle with weight loss ( apologies if I misled you to thinking I was abducted by terrorists or worse employed in a sweat shop in some dark alley in a country far far away and by that I mean China.)

So my dear reader..here we go!